Tuesday, July 17, 2012


My mother loved the book, "I Heard the Owl Call My Name."  So much so that I buried a copy with her. I have to admit I've never read it, but she used to tell me that she felt she would know when "the owl was calling her name," i.e. that death was approaching.

I'm not sure she did.  Maybe in the very last hour or so before her death when I wasn't with her, but prior to that, I don't know that she heard the owl call. She certainly never mentioned it.

Wondering about that got me thinking about premonitions.  I don't know that I have had any.  At least not as in some foreknowledge of something bad happening.  Or good for that matter.

But lately I've been having the sense that "things are about to change."  I don't know what that means. I don't know if it's a premonition or lack of sleep or griefwalking or hormonal imbalance or....But I keep having the feeling that I'm on the brink of something.  I feel both on edge and on the edge. Like I'm on the cusp?

It's a very odd feeling.  Not excited like a kid at Christmas feeling. Not dread-fillled like waiting for a diagnosis that you already know is going to be bad feeling.  Just sort of...brinky, edgy, cuspy feeling.

I would dismiss it as the fruit of an overactive imagination and an overtired body and mind, but it's not that easy to shake. And it's been with me for some time now.  Several weeks, as a matter of fact, along with the verse from Scripture that says a thousand years are like a day to the Lord and a day like a thousand years.

I know God's time and my time aren't the same.  Many years ago, in a difficult time, I prayed and know I heard God say in the stillness of my being, "The answer will come soon."  I thought "soon" as in tomorrow, but it was another year before that prayer was answered. Later, I realized then that "soon" meant "soon enough."  It was "soon enough."  It was before disaster totally took over, but it wasn't exactly what I thought of as "soon."

So I'm not really sure if this feeling is a harbinger of something imminent, or something "soon," or something distant, for that matter. All I know is that it's an odd feeling...and it might be a premonition.

Or not.

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