Sunday, January 20, 2013

Sunday Prayer Scorecard and Gratitude

What I'm grateful for this Sunday:

1. St. Jude's intercession in my life. See HERE.
2. Friends who don't abandon me even when I am not the best of company.
3. A pellet stove.
4. Chocolate, a perennial grateful.
5. SKYPE so I can "see" my son now and then despite the distance between us.

As for the Prayer Scorecard:
So far this month it is:
3 Yes
13 Not answered or continued

Many of the not answered have been on the list for a L-O-N-G time, like nearly a year. I know many of them eventually have to have an answer--they aren't the kind of prayer that can just fade into an answer like asking to be more patient and one day realizing you haven't lost your temper for several weeks. Certain of these prayers have to eventually have a yes or a no.  For instance, I was robbed of a great deal of money (the trial is still pending, so I can't reveal details) and either I'm going to get the money back or I'm not. Either the thief will be found guilty and sent to prison or he won't.  At some point there has to be a clear answer, but for now, the prayer just continues to be not answered. And so I keep praying.

But then there are the others on the continue to pray list. The problem with them is that it's sometimes hard to decide if the answer is no or if it is still not answered.  Another for instance: since mother's death I've had panic attacks on a regular basis. I have prayed (and done the things my doctor and counselor have suggested) and yet the panic continues.  So after a year is the answer to the prayer that panic be removed "no!" (like the thorn in Paul's flesh) or is it "not yet, keep praying"?  It's hard to decide if, like the woman in the parable who kept pestering the judge, I am to keep on praying or if I am to accept the answer as a "no." I'd hate to give up when the yes may be just on the verge and yet I don't want to be blind to a "no"either.

What I've decided is that if, after a calendar year, there is no movement in any direction, then I will consider that the answer isn't "not yet," but "no."  Until this, I'll keep praying.

Maybe I need to call in St. Jude on some of these!

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