Saturday, March 17, 2012

A Message from the Other Side

I had been told that sometimes, when you are grieving, you dream of the person you've lost.  I've never had that experience...until last night.

Last night I dreamed (this does sound like the opening to Rebecca) that my mother visited me.  She was seated on a sofa and I was kneeling at her feet.  We talked about things I can't remember, but what I do remember is looking directly into her eyes and thanking her for coming back one last time to see me.

She then held out her hand with two Mass cards. (For those of you who aren't Catholic, a Mass card is card presented to a person telling them that you had a Mass said for them or someone they love.) The cards both had written on them very clearly "May 12," which is the date of my father's death.

I got the sense that she wanted me to have Masses said on that day, which I will.  Then, as I watched, she gradually got younger and younger, her hair growing darker and her features becoming more youthful until, she before she disappeared, she had long dark brown hair, just as she did when I was born.

And then I left my hypnogogic state and came fully awake.

Was it a dream? Or did my mother really visit me?

I'm not sure, but there's one more thing that happened yesterday that was unusual.  My mother was one of the most disorganized people in the world.  Everything was jumbled and tossed randomly and now much of it is in boxes in my garage.  Unsorted boxes which could contain anything from check statements from 1952 to the last napkin she used and stuck into her purse.

I felt compelled to go out there yesterday afternoon and, as I stood in the middle of the boxes, tears streaming down my face, I cried out:  "What is it you want me to find, Mother?"

I then opened a bag that had some keys and coin purse and piece of paper with her distinctive characteristically beautiful handwriting:

St. Jude Thaddeus, Known to help us and (I) pray that my daughter never lose heart when the way has so many pitfalls and God guides her step as she is shown the way....Let her know this will not be the true and final case....

I'm not quite sure what to make of it all, but I have the distinct impression that I've been given a message from my mother.

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