I realized today that all I've done for the past three weeks, and I mean that almost literally is get up, shower, work, realize I'm starving, eat, work, go to bed, toss and turn about the work and/or lack of work, get up and repeat. I've been to the grocery twice, saw a friend for an hour once and made a few phone calls. Beyond that, it has been get up, shower, work, realize I'm starving, eat, work, go to bed, toss and turn about the work and/or lack of work, get up and repeat.
This can't go on or I won't go on much longer. I know I have to make ends wave at each other across the abyss, but something has got to change. Not sure what, but that's my prayer this week.
June Prayer Report
Speaking of which, the final June prayer report is:
Not answered 10
The yeses had to do with fine points of restoring and healing the badly damaged relationship I talked about in the past, having more energy to get some of the house and yard work done, and finding a person to repair the gutters at a semi-reasonablfe rate.
The noes had to do with some personal issues, thorns in the flesh, that apparently are not to be removed. I am persistent, however, and even if the prayers were "NO" in June, I'm moving them on to July. I don't think God's mind will be changed, but perhaps something else will change that will allow the thorn to be pulled out. By the way, did you know that the word for thorn also means "tent post" as in a big, honking thing sticking in your side? I think my "thorns" are more tent-posty.
The Not Answered are things that I realize are longer term, but they eventually will have to be a "yes" or a "no" so I keep on prayer.
Finally, Sunday Gratitude. It' been a long, hard week with waves of grief and its companions anxiety and insomnia, but I am grateful for:
1. For an unexpected phone call from my son during the week.
2. For having won a first place writing award when I didn't even know I had been nominated. (On faces of homelessness.)
4. For little tiny flashes of grace and hope that come when I meet a friend in the grocery (on one of my two trips these past weeks!), when I get a text right when I need it most, for a word of comfort.
5. For my cell phone. I really like my cell phone. I can give up a lot of things, but I would hang onto my cell for as long as possible. Literally!!!