Showing posts with label Facing Adversity with Grace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Facing Adversity with Grace. Show all posts

Friday, January 04, 2013

Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton and Financial Suffering

An excerpt from Facing Adversity with Grace about St. Elizabeth Ann Seton and financial struggles.




Because she is the first native-born American saint, many people know the life story of  St. Elizabeth Ann Seton (August 28, 1774 – January 4, 1821). Her conversion from devout Anglican, her struggles to live her new faith and her accomplishments, including starting what eventually became the parochial school system in America and founding the Sisters of Charity are as much a part of U.S. history as they are hallowed hagiography.

What many people might not realize, however, is that throughout much of her adult life, St. Elizabeth faced a very modern kind of suffering—penury. From the time she and her husband went bankrupt early in their marriage until her latter years struggling to maintain her convents and sisters, Elizabeth knew first-hand what it was like to suffer from lack of funds and experience involuntary poverty…
Her life, and her on-going struggle with the suffering associated with lack of money, can be an inspiration to those of us who also face financial stress. 

One of the first lessons is that we, like Elizabeth, must let go of fear, trusting that God will provide. Although William was sure he was headed for debtors’ prison, she maintained a steadfast conviction that somehow it would all work out. When we are faced with mounting debt and no way to pay it off, we have two choices—either we can despair or we can trust that we will be shown a way. Despair only will increase our suffering, adding unnecessarily to our pain. Trust allows us to think more clearly and thereby see options that might not have been visible when we were blinded by fear. However, as with many things, the choice between trust and despair is always ours.

A second lesson from Elizabeth is that while trusting that God will provide is important, we also have to do our part on a practical level. Elizabeth needed to find a way to support her family. She hadn’t planned on being a teacher, but when the opportunity to teach arose, she took it. Moreover, even though she had a gift for teaching, she didn’t give it away; she charged her students. She realized that she had to make money, not just expect it to come out of thin air. 

Sometimes we get the mistaken idea that it isn’t “spiritual” to use our talents to make money, but even the Scripture says that the workman is worthy of hire. If we are in financial difficulty and we have an ability or a talent, we are duty bound to use that in order to support ourselves and our families. Since using our talent is always the will of God, it’s a sure and safe place to begin.

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

Self-Love

I just read a short book entitled Love Yourself as if Your Life Depends on It. It is just what the title implies--a book giving yourself permission to love yourself.

I was struck by one passage in which someone told the author he was wrong; that we must love others first and then ourselves. The author pointed out that was backwards, but it made me realize that statement was just another example of how we misuse Scripture to meet our own biases. (It's not money that is the root of all evil, but the love of money.  Big difference.)

We are told that we must love our neighbor as ourself.  It doesn't say to love ourself as we love our neighbor.  The love of self has to come first, sort of like putting on the oxygen mask before assisting others.  If we don't love ourselves, we really can't love others.








 Now I'm well aware of this intellectually, but emotionally it's another story.  I've been so inculcated to focus on sacrifice and suffering (a theme I explore in my latest book, Facing Adversity with Grace, which is now available both as a paperback and Kindle!), it's hard for me to really understand what loving myself looks and feels like.


I know what it means to put others first, to sacrifice for them, because I've been taught well how to do that.  But me? I don't really know how to go about doing it.  I do things for myself, but is that really the same as loving myself?

So I'm starting by asking the question: Is this really the most loving thing I can do for myself right now?

  • Is eating that delicious and tempting cherry twizler the most loving thing or would an apple be more loving?
  • Is letting the dishes go another day because I'm worn out the most loving thing or would having a clean kitchen in the morning be more loving?
  • Is taking time to play the most loving thing for me right now or is doing the laundry?
  • Is visiting a friend the most loving thing or should I be praying and meditating?

The answers are usually quite clear, but they are beginning to surprise me, since I tend to assume the hardest, most difficult thing I don't want to do is always the right response. I'm starting, slowly, to have a bit more compassion for myself.  Which may be the beginning of learning what true self-love looks like.






Saturday, May 12, 2012